RIP Etta Mae Jones

The Big Decision Has Been Made - I think ....

The biggest decision to be made on behalf of baby Henry is, without a doubt, the choice of bedding! I know, I know, you're thinking other things, like breast vs. bottle, might take precedence ... but you are wrong.

The bedding decision has been agonizing really ... picking out a college for him (if there's money after we purchase the begging) will not be near as tough or stressful.

So, drumroll please ... I think we have a winner

However, picture light blue walls ... full length window treatment panels (in black toile) and no mobile ... mobiles annoy me and I'm pretty sure they will annoy Henry too. I'm also not sure about the logistics of cloth diapers and the diaper stacker ... but we'll figure it out!

There's still the task at hand of a rug and a rocker ... and what to do about the dresser ...

Comments? Suggestions?

Off to iron and hang baby clothes! Why, because Debbie said I have to, that's why!

Henry gets a crib

You may think this is a big development, and truly it is, because for a while most people were thinking he'd sleep on a dog bed or in a dog kennel, but we showed them and splurged - on wood even! However, we may still get him a collar and tag versus one of those standard hospital bracelets ... how cute would he look with a gold bone around his neck? Engraved with his name and address and the phrase "Reward For Return!" Tres Chic!

Trying to make our move from crates to cribs ... quite an adventure!

The changing table - matching cherry wood, but lighting in the nursery is still a work in progress, so it appears darker!

Even better, Steven and I are still married after crib assembly - now that's huge! We may not remain married through nursery decor decision making though, as he feels $1,000 (OR MORE) for baby linens is excessive ... cheapskate! Less than 800 thread count could be detrimental to that delicate baby skin ... why would we take such a risk? Clearly a parenting class is in order for Steve ...

A look from the door way ... clearly the dogs have no clue what is about to them, except for Fern, who seems concerned. Disclaimer: the curtains are "leftovers" from the former guest room decor and will be replaced with baby appropriate ones once a decision is made on decor. Disclaimer 2: A fabulous rug will be placed in this open area once a decision is made on decor.

I'm off to wash baby clothes in liquid gold ... the cost of Dreft is ridiculous and it better be made of gold! I've also been informed by an anonymous source (i.e. Henry's Goddess-Mama, aka Debbie) that each tiny piece of clothing must be ironed and that surely, for the sake of my child, I can find the time to do this. I scoffed at ironed onesies and she threatened DEFACS ... so clearly I have no option but to spend the next few days of my life neatly pressing the outfits this child will surely puke and poop on ... joy, joy, joy! Anyone care to come over and take pictures so Debbie has proof. I also apparently need to line his little baby chest of drawers in delicately scented papers ... yet another thing that isn't in "What to Expect When Your Expecting" - who knew? I'm sure before long, I'll be required to iron the pre-folds that the diaper service will be delivering, because silly me, using cloth diapers isn't enough, they must be pressed and nothing wrinkled will ever touch his little body ... note Debbie isn't here ironing, she's 2,000 miles away reminding me of these necessary and clearly often overlooked details. Bless her heart!

This is cuter than words ... the tiniest sailor suit EVER! I will iron this without complaint or reminding, as no one likes a wrinkled sailor!

This is an item Goddess-Mama Debbie would, without a doubt, iron and probably lightly starch. However, this is an item that will have puke on it within moments of it touching the baby's body ... can someone explain the purpose of ironing a cotton knit bib with a pig on it?

Sorry for the bad formatting of this picture, but I am honestly too lazy to do anything about it!

Stay tuned ... Baby Henry may be getting a bejeweled onesie ... as strange as it sounds, we want this to happen ... keep your fingers crossed that baby gets his bling, and mama too!!!

Nesting is hard work

There's a large pile of blue, yellow and white baby clothes to be washed and a large pile of grown up clothes to be stored. Thankfully the baby clothes have been detagged, but after they are washed I am apparently supposed to sort by size and type then determine what else I need! What else ... that pile barely has anything over 3 months in it ... where exactly is he going to need so many outfits??? Sadly, he'll be nekkid by 6 months though, because we've done nothing about that!

The former guest room is now empty(sorry Erin & Zack, Stephanie & Jim) minus the teeny weeny bassinett that sits up against a wall. The crib and changing table arrive Tuesday. However, I can't decide on bedding to save my life ... who needs sheets when you have 5,000 sleepers to choose from right? The fromer TV room is now a temporary guest room, until we can make a decision on what to do for guests (suggestion: The Wynn).

Despite how he looks, I think Simon is starting to get concerned about the noted changes in this house ... he barks when you say "baby" and I'm willing to start taking wager on how long it'll take him to lift his leg on the bassinett ... anyone gonna start the bidding?


My back hurts and I'm exhausted. But nesting was productive. The house is still dirty though, because apparently there is not a fairy to swoop in and vacuum and mop, but at least the big job is done since Steven is leaving me tomorrow to go back to a "real" job! Hopefully my freelancing is picking up with a new assignment that is heading my way ... details to come!!! And trust me, the details are going to be good ... you'll laugh, you'll cry and you'll make way too much fun of me and my new PR adventure!!!

And then there's the decision of what to do about Etta Mae Jones ... it's been a tearful weekend around here. Bless her heart ... she's so old and tries so hard to be happy. She content and does her best to stay out of our way, but her little heart just isn't as big as it appears to be and apparently is working anywhere near as good as it should be. Combined with the Cushings that is causing severe kidney damage, unknown growths all over her body and increasing incontinence, things just don't look good for the little girl who came to live here almost a year ago.

So, thankfully due to summer TV schedules, I don't have to tape my eyelids open to watch Desperate Housewives and Jimmy Kimmel (on oddly early tonight) is lulling me to sleep. A good wife would have her husband's work clothes ironed and ready to go for him, but no one every said Steven married well. I'm going to drink my Sprite (thanks dinner for not staying down, baby bulimia rocks) and go to bed with a safely empty stomach yet again! Bring it on Monday!

And to think ... Stephanie thought a damn triathalon was impressive ... I think not. Try nesting lil' sister and then get back to me!!!

It's Real Now ...

As if the maternity clothes, Guiness World Record setting morning sickness, massive weight gain, swollen feet and constant need for frozen confections wasn't making it real enough, we now know we are having a baby. We also know he is Southern!

How do we know?

His Goddess Mama (Debbie's name in lieu of some of the other not so pleasing names given to baby elders) sent the "official" silver spoon ... as in he'll be born with it in his mouth! (Can you see the look on Dr. Herpolsheimer's face when that happens?)

Ain't it purdy! And oh so sweet!

It'll be engraved after he's born, for fear we'll change his name from Henry David to something like Ricky Bobby or Steve's worse nightmare something that sounds like a soap opera (which seem to be waning in viewership these days, but I digress)!

So, now it's official ... We're having a baby, a southern baby! Just not soon enough!

Happy Birthday, oh and Vegas Anniversary

We celebrated Pickles' 4th birtday today ... a few days late, but he enjoyed it still the same! Can you believe we've lived with pork for this long? As I watch him devore his birthday surprise, I am wondering if the entire watermelon rind is too much ... I might risk my life and run take the 2nd half from him, for tomorrow, of course!

This weekend also marks our 2nd year in Las Vegas ... 2 years ago today we ended the long drive and unloaded to begin our lives here! No regrets! Some images from that trip!!

Such good memories!

It's been too long!

I know my last post was in 2008 ... I really don't have much of an excuse, I just stopped blogging! But I'm back and I promise to be on top of it.

I'm too tired for much tonight ... the bathing of the great unwashed (five of the six dogs) drained it all out of me and the pint of Blood Orange Ciao Bella Sorbet I just sucked down didn't bring it back. Since I wake up like clockwork at 530am (thanks sunrise), I must be off to bed to attempt some semblance of sleep before that time.

Today is Pickle's 4th birthday ... he's buried in the dirt outside! We'll celebrate this weekend, surely he doesn't keep a calendar. I'll take him for a Blue Moon - at least one of can still enjoy a birthday libation!
























Only 13 weeks left until .....























the time can't go fast enough! I can't wait to stop puking and sweating profusely and drinking gallons of water a day in a futile attempt to stay hydrated in this May of record setting temperatures. I think my OB would agree ... if it wasn't unethical, he might induce me today to save himself the pain of listening to my whining and bitching - I know Steven would be on board as well.


I've already asked about IUDs and vasectomies as well as diet pills and personal trainers! A nanny is in the works! I'm totally prepared!! Now if I could just bring myself to buy a crib, carseat, bottles, diapers and maybe an outfit or 10 we'd be in business. Hell, I still haven't conceded to reality of maternity clothes ... and now I have to go buy diapers!!!


Last summer was WAY more fun ... note the cocktail, lack of 3 chins and boobs that actually fit in a swimsuit! Ah the memories!

Shoot 'Em Ups, Who Dunnits and Bodies -- Don talks about his series of books

MyFox Atlanta Atlanta Novelist Covers Business Mystery Genre

Atlanta Novelist Discusses Business Mystery Business mystery is a genre rarely covered by novelist. 'Justice for J.J. Jenkins' is the newest work by Atlanta writer Don Swann.

I can't believe how ridiculously great Don was on Fox this morning ... who can believe he is really married to Debbie. He's freaking adorable! Go get Justice for J.J. in Jenkins ... trust me, its worth the read!!!

Gambling in a Winter Wonderland ....

It snowed ... and snowed ... and snowed some more. Green Valley and Henderson got 4" - 8" of snow yesterday. It was beautiful, but then messy and then annoying. I think I've lost the joy of snowdays, it was too cold to make a snow man and my feet were wet and cold and the dogs were wet and smelly ... and well, there was not old movies, popcorn and hot chocolate. Today's snowday, simple to stay off the melting streets, simply means working from home, and working harder since yesterday afternoon was a wash of sitting on slushie streets.

We broke records from December 1967, but I think the January snow of 1979 was still a bit more ... either way, yesterday left Vegas in survival mode and in a little bit of shock. Today, the temperature is in the 40s and the sun in shining ... water is pouring off of my roof, streams are running down the sides of the road ... the snow is melting and life will resume to normal, if there is a normal for us, at least.

So here are some photos of our winter wonderland ...

The snow started slow ... right outside the office, then the open courtyard

The open courtyard at the office, palm trees in front of the District

Puppy prints in the snow, Fern rotating which foot touche the snow and EMJ trying to figure out what she did to deserve this sort of punishment ...

Fern's concerning look ... Simon racing back to the warmth of the house and Rebel, sheer, naive amazement

Rebel loves the snow and even chased snowballs ... Pickles was slightly intrigued, but didn't care to spend too much time out there ... however, a pig in snow ... good stuff ..

Sweet Snickers, trying so hard to understand ...

Some scenes from the 'hood - including our "other" pig, the neighbors decorated sail boat (in the South the decorate cars ... sailboats are a little classier) and more ...

Shouldn't there be a warm fuzzy for providing a Barbie Dream House

Christmas is the time for giving and sharing, the time when people feel most charitable and have the most desire to help their neighbor and contribute to the good of mankind. I am not different. As an office, we decided to "adopt a family" (clearly it seemed far better than another dog) and provide Christmas for a less fortunate family. Like adopting anything, there was an agency involved who worked with us to choose our family and explain the program. It was explained to us that in order to qualify these family must provide proof of income, proof their children exist and proof their children are in school - sounds fair and reasonable. We were matched with a single mother and her three children. The parents fill out a "request" form of sorts listing the childrens clothing sizes, shoes sizes and two toys that the children have "wished" for ... as the adopter you are asked to provide two toys gifts (it doesn't have to be what was asked for) and a gift card to provide food for the week.

Easy enough right and how wonderful to provide a child with a lifetime memory of a Christmas morning ... I remember vividly waking up to Cabbage Patch Kids, Barbie Dream Houses (I really want it back now as it was sweet), bicycles and the best the original home Apple computer ... there were stockings full of candy, trendy pencils, stuffed animals and socks ... and in the end you sat with this glow on your face, eyes closing from exhaustion because you awoke so early to see what Santa left, all amidst piles upon piles of colorful shredded paper and discarded bows. As tired as you were, there was not time to sleep ... the Dream House needed occupants, the Cabbage Patch Kid needed a wardrobe change, or if you were lucky enough to get a preemie there was feeding and diaper changing and for goodness sake if you didn't ride that bike in your nightgown in the freezing cold (helmetless) the world would end. Not to mention the candy cane induced sugar can high that alone prevented you from returning to bed. How wonderful that I am fortunate enough to be able to provide this to another, bring a little girl her Barbie Dream house ... so it started.

We divided and conquered as a team and set off shoppping for items requested and others as we deemed appropriate. There were pink bicycles, rollerblades, stuff kittens, Hannah Montana Electric guitars, video games, card games, mittens, gloves, jackets, lip gloss, candy scented lotions, pens and pencils, Pez and more ... As we wrapped the gifts we mused over how jealous we were of the Hannah Montana guitar (that as of wrapping time had dead batteries), wondered if at 32 it was still cool to have streamers on your bike and blew off media kits to play Tetris, Simon and 20 questions. We imagined the 3 little girls opening their gifts, the giggles, the aw, the thrill of Christmas morning. We worried they wouldn't like it, we over thought ever detail adn imagined every Christmas morning scenario. Even though she asked for a "big stuffed cat" would she be just as excited about the litter of 4 unique stuffed kittens, seeing there isn't a single big stuffed cat available in Sin City ... Is her bike the right size? What about a helment? Does she have thick socks for her rollerblades? Do you think Old Maid is too lame? We gave it our all to make sure that when those little girls hurled themselves out of bed on Christmas morning, they experienced the joy that each of us had each year of our childhoods and beyond ... it felt so good!

Gifts wrapped and labeled, loaded in boxes, bow on bike we headed to the drop off location to drop off the wonderful gifts ... imaging what a relief this would be on the mother to be able to see the light in her childrens' eyes ... not to worry about their happiness for one day ... surely she's hardworking and just needs a helping hand, who hasn't in their lifetime. Hearts full of love and a truck full of 8 bags of wrapped packages and a bike, we pulled up at the organization's warehouse to make our donation and leave behind happiness for our adopted children.

At first I was overwhelmed with the sheer number of children's bikes and warmed at the thought there were so many other people out there who chose to share with those less fortunate. I know you shouldn't give and expect something in return, but a thank you, maybe a champagne toast would have been nice when Alex and I pulled up with more than $700 worth of "loot" for a family we don't know.

Let's be honest ..... adopt a whale >> get a picture

adopt a starving African child >> get a picture AND a letter

adopt a senior citizen >> get doilies and vivid stories of years gone by

adopt a dog >> get a hairy sofa, chewed sheos and unconditional love

Everything else you adopt, you get something, some sort acknowledgement that you've participated in the betterment of someone else's life ... something that gives you that warm feeling inside, the feeling that makes you want to hug the closests person to you ... you get something tangible or intangible.

I got something - a lump in my tummy and coldness in my heart.

The gifts were unloaded and we were scurried out, a rude young boy was at the front door blocking the entrance with no intent to move, despite several pleading "excuse mes" .... No one really thanked us, no one took time to check the gifts we had dropped off ... for God's sake people we could have bought them bongs and vodka ... no one asked for list to check it twice and find out if we were naughty or nice. There was no picture of a child or three ... there was nothing. Alex and I pulled away from the building silent ... it was anti-climatic.

A moment or two in the car and we realized the $150 gift card purchased to provide the family's Christmas meal was still in the car, so a quick U-turn and we were back, to drop off the remainder of what, if I do say so myself, will be a swinging Christmas.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but two "needy" families there early to pick up their "gear" ...

I know I shouldn't judge, I know judging is bad ... but really, if you are needy should you be dressed in trendy, quasi designer clothes - should you hair be freshly coifed - should your car be clearly recently detailed - at 3 pm on a Friday shouldn't you be working or looking for work - is it ethical to pick up a bag full of gifts for a 6-month-old baby?

My hair needs coifing, my truck needs detailing, I took time from work to do this, meaning I'll be working late tonight and I'm not quite sure how trendy I really look today --- however I just put your children first! I just took time out of my life and money from my account to give your child a Christmas, if not me, someone else did that - there is someone responsible for that black trash bag full of gifts that you are picking up, someone whose hand you should shake, neck you should hug and heart you should bless in your bedtime prayers.

Where is the accountability to the family in all of this ... where is the thank you note to the people who stopped their lives to provide for you ...? Shouldn't these people be required to give something back to the community for what they have been fortunate enough to receive?

If you are picking up the gifts early are you going to take them and sell them on Craigslist to make money for your hair habit? Will that little girl ever see her pink bike? Are you scamming the system and me ... hard working people who are putting themselves aside to put you first? Am I horrible for wondering this?

I have to wonder if I am just a hardened bitch? a spoiled brat? a pompous ass?

Life has never been hard for me, but it sure as hell has never been easy. I haven't struggled, but I have worked. I made the grades to get in to college and funded it with the help of my parents. I busted my ass to get the jobs I've had and worked even harder to keep them. I paid my bills and my dues and now feel fortunate enough to give to someone else who may be in a position where they are struggling ... so why is it that I feel like I just gave of myself to someone who is too lazy to support themselves of their children. Why do I want that pink bike back?

But, what is the definition of struggling? Should you be wearing holey shoes to deserve a pink bike? Or does a dead beat dad who doesn't support you after he knocked up your mom qualify? Does scamming the system for disability count since your laziness prevents you from supporting your kids or are you really disabled and really need a helping hand and pat on the back? What really qualifies as a struggle?

I wanted nothing more than to just feel the spirit of Christmas and the joy of giving. I wanted to know that I gave a little girl her Barbie Dream House - is that so much to ask for ... why did that have to be ruined by seeing people picking up their donated Christmas ... on that note, can you explain to me why it was necessary for you to pick up your gifts early ... I mean are you leaving town with the cash your saving since, along with my co-workers, I provided your entire Christmas? My shopping isn't done yet because I put your kids first, but you need to show up 4 days early to pick up the donated gifts for your kids? The regular pick up time was still 10 whole days before Christmas!

All I want is a picture of my whale ...

All I want is to know that pink bike was needed, was deserved and will be cherished they way I still cherish even the idea of the Barbie Dream House. I want to know that mother is going to have a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders knowing her kids can go on living in sweet, innocent bliss having no idea how much their mother has struggled and fought to provide for them. I want to know that my hours of shopping and agonizing over pink bikes meant something to someone and wasn't just a free hand-out because you could ...

I don't wish struggle on anyone, I just hope the someone who will reap the benefits of mine, appreciates it and when they dig their way out will do the same ... give another little girl her Barbie Dream House! I want to give a hand up not a hand out ... is that so wrong?



WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY!

Fat ballerinas in pink tutus

Ho-esque red dresses worn at inappropriate times

Strawberry Shortcake

Ornaments my Grandma made

Ornaments I made with my little hands


A warm feeling in my home

Pink pigs in my front yard, that totally outshine the neighbor's blow up nativity scene

Simon's steadfast obedience and willingness to pose for my pictures

Rebel's distrust of the stockings, hung by the fireplace with care

PEACE. LOVE. JOY. HAPPINESS.