Well it leaves us with a failing economy and the brightest stars out there are about to drop from the sky and hit the earth like meteors, at least one of them, the other may just remain a star, albeit dimmer and without placement on a map of the constellations. The other, the earth shattering meteor, is going to leave this country wondering what hit it .. scrambling for help and running in circles because there is no help, no hope.
I can't defend McCain right now as he made a fool of himself tonight. If the best thing he can come up with about his running mate is that she's a reformer and understands the families of special needs children, we have a problem, as this indicates he can't hire a decent staff to write speeches and advise him on debate winning quips, which means cabinet will most likely reflect that, which means government will closely mirror it as well ... his only witty remark was that he wasn't Bush, aside from that he poked at Obama, tried to steal his Cheetos and made fun of his finger painting - real productive - way to get to the point and discuss the issues facing America. Finger pointing and finger painting never got anyone, anywhere.
That being said, I'm still far more likely to turn my fate over to him than I am to a man who clearly can't address factual allegations against him, constantly changes his story and ultimately plans to turn this country into a socialist nation - if I wanted socialism I'd be in France (mmm bread) or Zimbabwe, hell, even Canada; I'd spend all my money on taxes and get even crappier healthcare. I don't trust this one, he's slick and well-spoken, seems to have formed a cult, but in the end he scare's me, no terrifies me. Acorn and Ayers alone can cause concern, never mind his constantly changing position, referring to people as workers and raising, no lowering, no raising taxes ... He smiles big and speaks proud all the while really talking about nothing more than how the crust needs to be cut from his sandwich.
So mid-debate, I started packing up all my belongings and got a dart to toss at Mexico, my decision making game for where to live after the election, as if now wasn't a good enough time to play international move roulette ... Cozumel or Cabo can't be awful right .. beaches, tacos, salsa and margaritas can't make for a bad life. I'd say moving internationally would make me miss family, but trust me, they'll visit. So as I packed, researched movers online and prepared to change my cocktail routine from Vodka & tonic to Petron & Sprite, I realized, there might just be another option.
I lost my first hope, the pudgy, southern gentleman, Fred Thompson. Being the important guy on Law & Order doesn't get any hotter, but a presidential candidate ... back of girls ...
So I move on to the next best thing ... he's also a little round, a little short and a little southern ....
PICKLES
It's only logical really.
Pork barrel politics - GONE, Pickles doesn't think pork should be kept in barrels.
Bail outs - GONE, it's every creature for itself
Sharing the wealth - let's be serious, do you really think that one pig would share a field of corn with another pig, I don't think so. If you waddled over here and worked to get it, dammit it's yours.
Welfare - there's not such thing, nothing ever goes well for a pig at the fair ...
His cabinet would be exemplary ...
- Simon as Secretary of State maintaining order
- Snickers handling Foreign Policy-making loud, obnoxious noises when inappropriate intruders approach and quietly allowing those who qualify in without hesitation
- Rascal leading the FDA and USDA
- Rebel would act as Vice President, as that position really doesn't do much anyway
- Etta Mae would work hard for Senior's rights ensuring the safety and validity of Social Security and Medicare
- Fern would be the press liason, she looks good in public
There would be no handouts, as everyone in this pack has to work for their food , so why shouldn't that be national policy.
Crimes would be punishable immediately, a jury of your peers is fine, but seriously, if someone sees you pee on the floor or eat a chair leg, you WILL be ratted out.
Wealth is not shared. If you find it first, it's yours. Don't expect to take a toy from someone's else mouth because you have too many puppies and not enough teets .. what's mine is mine and what you don't have is your problem.
Food will be subsidized, as when it gets too expensive, grumpiness insues and we can't have that.
Energy. Pickles and his cabinet proposes that in order to get our country back on its feet and less dependent on foreign oil or even oil, we use his revolutionary cat-ergy ... cat powered energy for vehicles, home energy and more. It's revolutionary.
Everyone will learn to work and to work together as a pack, if you dont' fit in, you get eaten, it's just that simple. Work is the key word. You have to work to eat, it's just that simple.
Will there be mud-slinging, hell yeah! Will it be more fun that what we are seeing now? Oh yeah!
Will there be a bumpy road ahead, trying times during the transition, yes! But will he reduce the price of corn for the betterment of man-kind, most certainly
I can guarantee you this ... the rose garden will NEVER look the same again.
So, I implore you, beg you, and quite honestly expect you, to make the right choice and election day (which is apparently any day) .....
TAKE THE PORK OUT OF THE BARREL AND STOP THE SHOVELING OF MANURE ...
VOTE PICKLES FOR PRESIDENT
If you haven't registered to vote yet, or this message has made you change you mind, no worries, our friends at 'Pumpkin Seed' will be right over and for an incentive of $25, they will pay you to register, re-register and re-register again - and to vote, and vote often. Pickles knows nothing of these policies, despite his unfailing support of Pumpkin Seed.
Pork is the only option! Write in Pickles in 2008!
1 comment:
I say PORK!
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